Lost in the (W)Hole

Good Heavens it’s been TEN months since I’ve been able to post anything here! If this was a baby I’d be a month overdue!!!

To be honest I rather feel like my name got changed to Alice this past near-year. I got sick and had some MAJOR surgery in February that culminated in a three week stay in the “new” rehab wing inside a nursing facility where I used to work. Talk about panic! I had already spent a grueling week in the hospital but to then find myself in the receiving end of an old work place was nearly more than I could bear.

This was at the hospital. (Oh My!!! That is NOT a bedpan! It is what left of a meal tray!)  I looked awful and felt just as worse. And yes, that is a walker. Used that the week I spent in the hospital. They upgraded me to a cane when I got to rehab.

I actually spent my birthday in rehab. That was a bummer. One of my friends sent me flowers and my grand kids brought me lots of balloons. My daughter also had a BIG canvas made of the kids for me to hang on the wall next to my chair. Believe me, I looked at it every day! AND they brought my dog to visit for my birthday!

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She made herself at home in my blankets! I think I missed her the most….

So now I’m home. I still have to use a cane. Nothing fancy (yet). Found some “old man canes” at a second hand store after using one previously left behind by an ex….that thing was too tall for me anyhow. To help me feel better about the ugly canes I started crocheting handle covers and even tried my hand at making slip-on flowers and leaves. The grands love it and my little neighbor girls are fascinated that my cane wears clothes. 😀

I was told I would have to use a cane the rest of my life. I do believe it. Something connected to this surgery further aggravated the cancer-induced neuropathy. I was severely dropping things and stumbling all over myself. Funny but they taught me to use the cane in my primary hand….which is the one I was always dropping things from! Since I’ve been home I’ve learned to use that cane in either hand depending on how weak my hands are. I shift my weight usually off of the affected foot and leg too.

Oh, in case you are wondering, I had surgery to repair what is called a Recticele. I’m not sure if I have that spelled correctly. I had been passing lots of blood rectally as if I had a faucet turned on. Praise God I didn’t have to have a blood transfusion! But all the same the surgery lasted over 5 hours. It was only supposed to last 30 minutes. It was really super bad. So, once again, I am glad to be alive and am continuing to heal.

So many more things have happened since I came home. Many of which were NOT good for me. The day I came home I had a major meltdown. I am so GLAD the kids didn’t send me BACK to the hospital for mental reasons! They were the CAUSE of it all! More about that the next time. To be honest, I am still trying to heal from that incident. Worst thing to ever have happen to me since cancer and having that surgery. Oh! I forgot to tell ya’ll that I actually wanted to and honestly thought I was going to die about three days after surgery. Never had pain that intense in that manner except one other time in my life. I honestly would NOT wish it on any of my enemies! (Childbirth was NOTHING compared to this pain…).

Slowly climbing back up the (W)hole…rabbit or otherwise.

Oh! While in rehab I watched their GINORMOUS pet rabbits!!! These things were nearly twice the size of my dog!!!

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Just call me “Alice”…..I’m in here somewhere!

Until next time I pray peace and an abundance of blessings on ya’ll!

~ Bonnie

 

 

 

 

 

Disregarded Gifts

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Here we are right on the threshold of yet another Christmas holiday. That is the holiday my family celebrates. I am not nor ever have been ashamed to declare “Merry Christmas” to friends and strangers alike. I cringe when I see the “Christ” part of the word replaced by “X”. That is offensive to me to be honest. And yes, I have read and heard many of the arguments pro and con concerning the use of “X” and pine trees and decorations….and all the other many “pagan” things that have come together to make up our holiday as we know it today in the year 2015.

Also with the holidays comes the influx of charities and usually the “spirit of giving” to go along with that theme. Unless of course your name happens to be Ebeneezer Scrooge. I know a lot of people with his “spirit”. They have a total disregard for anything charitable. I pity those folks really. They don’t know the reality of joy that comes with giving.

For nearly as long as I can remember I have handmade nearly all gifts I’ve given to friends and family for Christmas. Each gift is lovingly thought out and planned for the specific recipient. I receive great joy when those gifts are cherished. Perhaps you have seen on social media the petition to buy local, buy handmade, that handmade isn’t cheap. I support all that as I have an Etsy shop that doesn’t have much traffic. I tend to gift more than I sell. You can find my shop here:  http://www.etsy.com/shop/peabuttonsmom

But what about the gifts that we purchase and gift to others? Are we simply giving a gift of disregard? Are those gifts lovingly thought out and pursued? Did we fight with somebody on Black Friday to save a buck just to give that kind of gift? One that will ultimately be “disregarded”?

Today I rather had a heart break concerning a lesser gift. Given a couple or so years ago. Gifted with love to a family member.  I did not fight for this gift or necessarily save money on this gift. But today there it was, in all its glory, laying in their trash can. I simply was throwing away an orange rind and there the gift was, partially hidden, but still crying out from the recesses of despair. Being the dumpster diver that I am of course I fished it out of their trash. My heart was broken. It sank. I realized that that particular gift was disregarded as trash. Not as the collectible which is what I had bought. Not being regifted nor even being recycled. Trashed. Oh the horror!

Now I would like to interject here that I also had another family member years ago who was notorious for ridding herself of last years gifts. Gifts we gave her often showed up in the yard sale next spring. We finally just started gifting her with gift cards. What else could we do? She made it evident that she would rather have the money.

But how does one deal with the gift that lands in the trash?? Honestly, I do not know yet. I am not finishing the handmade gifts I had previously been fussing over for this person. I just don’t feel like it is necessary any more.  It is necessary that I pray harder about this and forgive this person in my own heart. They obviously don’t see any wrong committed here.

This holiday season I would like to encourage all who read this post to re-evaluate your reason for giving the gift, as well as the gifts you receive. Some of us have spent precious time and expenses choosing those gifts just for you. Or making them. Or even having them specially made.

It makes me wonder how Santa can keep on giving and gifting when he knows he’s only giving gifts of disregard.

There is a sermon in here somewhere.

Bah. Humbug.

 

 

Dog Sitting in a Chrysalis

As a child in grade school there was a time when the teacher had a butterfly cocoon for us to watch. I seem to recall how hard it was watching that thing for the longest time and wondering if the teacher was just playing a trick on us. I mean really, THAT thing is alive??

Honest! Didn’t the caterpillar in Disney’s Alice in Wonderland spin his cocoon and transform into a butterfly in record time? I saw it with my own two eyes!

Then there were my teen and young adult years when I fervently listened to the musical team of sisters called Heart (or was it Hart?). Anyhow, I remember a popular song about the Dog and Butterfly. Although I can’t recall the words to that song at this moment I assure you if it were to come on the radio I could sing every word and not miss a single note.

Present day. I have previously written about Mosey Cottage and most recently referred to this house as being in the chrysalis stage. Days on end pass and I see more WRONG with the two livable rooms than what I see being done with the rest of the house. BUT I recently had a tidbit of stirring that was made visible to me. The kids had a couple of contractors to come in and evaluate the need for offering their estimates. I met the first man. I liked him. He was excited about his craft and saw the opportunity to work for us and still be able to have a bit of leeway in what he loves to do. My son in law liked him too. I was told that they most likely will go with this man’s estimate. Maybe. The second man I never met. I understand he acted like his work was a drudgery and he could care less. Phooey on the nay-sayer who wants to drag his feet! (I still expect the chrysalis to spin and produce a beautiful butterfly like Alice’s caterpillar).

What does a dog have to do with any of this? >sigh< Cub is a hound dog. A mix breed of hunting dogs. He points and flags. Forget the heeling. He pulls and drags if you fall while trying to manage his leash. Forget the hunting although his nose is always sniffing something to track. And I do believe he’d just as soon EAT a butterfly as to chase it. This is my daughter’s dog. NOT mine! My Daisy is much cuter (wink wink).

My daughter has been roughing it in the front two rooms of my Mosey Cottage for nearly a year now. Family stuff happens and jobs change and now I find myself “dog sitting” so she can keep her job. You see, Cub suffers from severe separation anxiety. He has broken through three windows, two doors, torn up the carpet, shredded a couch…..need I say more? As long as he is WITH somebody he knows he is fine.

He is a bit tamer and a little more behaved since I started keeping him. I usually keep him in Mosey Cottage. In fact I have spent enough time there that I’m beginning to feel a bit more like maybe someday I WILL be living there. Sure keep hoping so!

It is interesting to watch a chrysalis from the inside. It isn’t what I had expected. I mean who would have ever believed me if I told them that this chrysalis is helping to transform a DOG?

I’m still expecting the butterfly….

Merry Christmas Ya’ll!

Cub in his hound dog cuteness….

 

 

 

Sharing from a Chrysalis called Mosey Cottage (or not)

the Chrysalis of Hope

the Chrysalis of Hope

This being October first of the year 2015 I have accepted a challenge to write and share on a daily basis. I have chosen to share about the Woes of this Chrysalis of Mosey Cottage. Indeed it has become a hardship for me AND my children. My oldest has taken on the challenge of living in this chrysalis. It has NOT been easy as she is forced to live in the front two rooms. She totes water and cooks the same as if she were camping.

In the meantime this Chrysalis has spewed out her husband for at least the next year. Except this chrysalis begin to transform then he may not get to return to this home. Nor may I ever get to live within it’s sanctuary. And the fear remains and maintains itself that my girl could also be spewed forth as well to find herself homeless.

Oh my, you say? Indeed. I am convinced that God wanted my younger kids to obtain this place for me. I KNOW that He answered prayer on the day of the auction. They were the only ones to bid and were blessed to purchase it for several thousand dollars less than the asking price. We all rejoiced. A handicapped home with a huge built in garage that was to become my workshop/craft room.

I have obtained two beautiful grand babies since this day of purchase. We also obtained a HUGE problem under the house that had not been disclosed to any of us prior to the sale. I LOVE and ADORE my grandchildren. I marvel at this gaping hole in the ground that nearly swallowed my son in law which was later spewed. I HATE the lingering on the “what do we do now?’……Isn’t it rather obvious? Fill the hole, cover it, and continue with the plumbing issues. I don’t understand at all why this is a problem.

So this is the beginning of my 31 Day writer’s challenge. My precious Chrysalistic Hole that I want so BADLY to occupy. But I know that opening a chrysalis before its time will ruin the beautiful outcome and desire. So in the meantime I shall continue to pray and seek out people who would help without cost. Pay it forward, please. I need this badly. I haven’t the funding otherwise. Pray again. Watch and wait.

And Wait……

Until tomorrow I bid your Chrysalis in better shape than mine.

~ Bonnie                                                                                                                                    aka Peabutton’s Mom

Sharing Life and Pix of Happy Things

Greetings all on this fine Sabbath day in my part of the world!

It has been quite a while since I’ve posted. Not intentionally I assure you. Indeed, a few months back I started a post and became so frustrated with the hole of “Where’d the pix go?” that I ended up forfeiting that post altogether. I suppose there are times that just beg not to be shared. Although I couldn’t understand why keeping winter pix from ya’ll would be something to “hide”.

Today I have decided to try sharing again. I am pretty sure I know where all my pix are at that I want to share today. I love nature and enjoy my walks with my dog, Daisy. I am always finding something to take pix of, whether a flower, a tree, a bug…..just all kinds of stuff. This summer, however, has proven to be not as kind in sharing it’s wealth of beauty with me in my surroundings. What I once found as sanctuary, the lake up the road, has been bought and the people refuse me to walk there. >sigh<

There has been much more industrial business that has come to occupy the previously empty pole buildings up the road from me as well. Many heavy equipment trucks, tractors, and strange creatures of the mechanical sort tend to fly down our road. Not as safe for me or my dog when it comes to our walks. No sidewalks here. I’ve been told the road work people will be widening our road sometime in the future. That in itself will be a bit of a major undertaking as the storm sewers could quite possibly need moved. You see, I live in an area that was once the outskirts of town. It has been industrialized. UGH!

I’m sorry. Perhaps some of you are wondering about me and my health? I have been sick since last March with hives. BAD hives. Many doctors, tests, hospitals, and still no cause as to why I have them. They get in my mouth, on my lips, eyes, ears, between fingers and toes, and everywhere else imaginable. Itch so bad at times that I could filet myself if it would help. Swelling in my face happens, and yes, my lips and mouth too, that can be numbing. Horrible it is. And I live with it still. WAY too much Prednisone for this gal as my previous breast cancer fed on hormones. It’s scary and does absolutely nothing for my mental health.

Mosey Cottage has come to a screeching halt. I don’t know at this point if I ever will get to live there. So many, many things have happened with family in regards to repairs and occupancy. More than what I am comfortable sharing here with the world. It has become another Hole in my life.

Alrighty. Enough of the downtrodden. Let’s lighten up a bit, shall we? Here are various photos I’ve taken, with camera and phone, of my surroundings this past year.

~ ENJOY!

Box turtle saved.

Box turtle saved.

Strange flying beast

Strange flying beast

webs in the morning

webs in the morning

An inviting Elf home.

An inviting Elf home.

rocks in rocks

rocks in rocks

A smiley face in Queen Anne's Lace

A smiley face in Queen Anne’s Lace

Stone face!

Stone face!

Hens or Chicks? These NEVER Cluck (but they sure can multiply!)

Finally found a bit of time to help my neighbor with her over-abundance of hens and chicks she planted a couple years ago. She’s been going through a rough patch and my ministry of help has been readily welcomed. I’m glad to help howsoever I can. She just had bladder cancer surgery on Monday. By the time I finished replanting the exterior circle of her succulents at my house and went back out with my dog she had received a call that her sister had just passed away from leukemia. Not been a great day for her.

This is what I had left over after filling my planter at home:

still more growing in the pot!

still more growing in the pot!

Here’s what I planted in my own container:

My pot runneth over.

My pot runneth over.

It’s rather full isn’t it? I have to leave enough room for them to settle a bit. They were getting all scraggly in her outdoors man-made planter area. But what to do with the leftovers in that white bucket? It’s a half gallon food service bucket by the way. Come in handy for a great many things! Just one of my wonderful finds at the recycle/dump center. Yay! I’m always finding great stuff there!

Broken cups still have a great use for planters!

Broken cups still have a great use for planters!

This broken cup I couldn’t pass up out of a dumpster recently. There had been a set of four. One was chipped on the rim and this one had a half side broken. Perfect for little planters! I decided to add the broken off pieces to the bottom for drainage. And since I couldn’t readily get to my usual handful of rocks from my collection I decided to use a couple of my empty medicine bottle lids. Those things like never break down in a landfill anyways! Then I added a pretty cupcake liner since a coffee filter is obviously too big and I didn’t want to waste a good filter for my coffee. (wink, wink). I suppose a person could also use a knitting needle, a crochet hook, a pencil, an ink pen, a drinking straw, a pair of inexpensive scissors (NOT children’s!), a specific length of coat hanger wire from a shop that uses a uniform service ie a service station. Most of those places are throwing away those coat hangers anyhow. I find them in the dumpsters all the time. I’m sure you can come up with even more ideas for poking stem holes than what I’ve been able to list here.

shove the cupcake liner in really good around the lids, rocks, marble....whatever you decide to use for drainage.

shove the cupcake liner in really good around the lids, rocks, marble….whatever you decide to use for drainage.

I then proceed to add the pitiful leftovers of my potting soil from last year. I probably should have long since thrown that out but I do so tend to hoard forever what I think I will need someday. Just so happens I’ve needed this a couple of times now! And since the cup is broken on one side I decided to bank the dirt to one side for appearance.

Bank the dirt to one side. I should have wetted it all down first!

Bank the dirt to one side. I should have wetted it all down first!

After wetting it down I have to admit I lost a bit of the dirt. Not enough to make a difference. It would have been best if I had worked with wet dirt to begin with. Then I grabbed one of my long handled paint brushes laying close by to help poke holes for the long stems/roots of my hens and chicks. You can also use a chopstick, a stick from the yard, a knife handle (dull knife please!) or the handle from a plastic fork, knife, spoon, or that odd spork in the back of the junk drawer.   (Grin!)

best rule of thumb is to use what I have on hand...thus the paintbrush to poke stem holes!

best rule of thumb is to use what I have on hand…thus the paintbrush to poke stem holes!

I started by adding the straggling smaller chicks to the lower edge and letting them hang over a bit. I had to pack them in tighter. Then I started adding some bigger hens with more pronounced roots. Had to get a bit creative and shove the holes at an angle to get the stems to go in the direction that was correct for the tilt of the head. Then I filled in with a couple of medium sizes and a larger one at the back.

How's this for a cup of hangover?

How’s this for a cup of hangover?

I know all of the plants will settle a bit after sitting for a while. That’s what is so nice about succulents. They are very forgiving! This little cup full of loving went to live with my oldest Daughter at Mosey Cottage. But look at what I STILL have yet to plant!

Still have to plant with another bucketful to come!

Still have to plant with another bucketful to come!

I am definitely going to need a bigger planter! I wonder if I can make a living wreath for my door with these? Hmmmm……how to keep it damp? I live in an interior apartment building. Spritz it daily? Soak it once a week? Any ideas?

Until next time I assure you I’m still living life….only my “whole” seems to be getting a wee bit tight now days!

Bonnie aka Peabutton’s Mom

Sharing for Charity. It’s a “Feel Good” thing.

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Howdy ya’ll!

I’ve been struggling with life in this “hole”. Today, however, I want to share a ray of goodness. Not something that is transferred from me to you but something that you can transfer to another. The word for it is CHARITY. So, did you cringe? Were you expecting the offering plate shoved in your face? Never fear. I’m not doing that here. No hands held out asking for alms. No junk mail stuffing out the more important things (like the heating bill?).

At the start of the year somebody on another blog had asked about a word to set the pace for my year. The word that came to my mind, immediately I might add, was “SHARE”. I am supposed to share more this year. And yet I’ve been failing to share here. My deepest apologies. Forgive me please?

Now don’t misunderstand me. I HAVE been sharing. Spring is the time of year that I get loaded with requests from various charities for handmade items. And I have been gracious to accept their requests and donate. But that isn’t really “charity”. Yes, it is giving of my abilities and resources but I was ASKED to comply. Charity, true Christian charity, comes from within, from that “whole” in your heart, because you WANT to do so.

With that thought in mind I wish to share this blog with all of you. I have been checked in myself once again to Share. I need to learn that sharing when depression sets in is a form of healing.

I am an avid crocheter. Even when my hands hurt and my fingers go numb I still can be found with crochet work close by. So for all my crochet and kitting friends I wish to share.

I found this list of 10 charities to be the broadest and most appealing. My own granddaughter is a recipient of a Linus blanket! Please take a look and see if there’s anything that stirs your “whole”. Do it for yourself. I have done some. I need to do more. The words echo in my mind to “do what I can”. So with that I share the following blog.

http://startingchain.com/2014/01/10-charities-that-need-crocheted-items.html