Lost in the (W)Hole

Good Heavens it’s been TEN months since I’ve been able to post anything here! If this was a baby I’d be a month overdue!!!

To be honest I rather feel like my name got changed to Alice this past near-year. I got sick and had some MAJOR surgery in February that culminated in a three week stay in the “new” rehab wing inside a nursing facility where I used to work. Talk about panic! I had already spent a grueling week in the hospital but to then find myself in the receiving end of an old work place was nearly more than I could bear.

This was at the hospital. (Oh My!!! That is NOT a bedpan! It is what left of a meal tray!)  I looked awful and felt just as worse. And yes, that is a walker. Used that the week I spent in the hospital. They upgraded me to a cane when I got to rehab.

I actually spent my birthday in rehab. That was a bummer. One of my friends sent me flowers and my grand kids brought me lots of balloons. My daughter also had a BIG canvas made of the kids for me to hang on the wall next to my chair. Believe me, I looked at it every day! AND they brought my dog to visit for my birthday!

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She made herself at home in my blankets! I think I missed her the most….

So now I’m home. I still have to use a cane. Nothing fancy (yet). Found some “old man canes” at a second hand store after using one previously left behind by an ex….that thing was too tall for me anyhow. To help me feel better about the ugly canes I started crocheting handle covers and even tried my hand at making slip-on flowers and leaves. The grands love it and my little neighbor girls are fascinated that my cane wears clothes. 😀

I was told I would have to use a cane the rest of my life. I do believe it. Something connected to this surgery further aggravated the cancer-induced neuropathy. I was severely dropping things and stumbling all over myself. Funny but they taught me to use the cane in my primary hand….which is the one I was always dropping things from! Since I’ve been home I’ve learned to use that cane in either hand depending on how weak my hands are. I shift my weight usually off of the affected foot and leg too.

Oh, in case you are wondering, I had surgery to repair what is called a Recticele. I’m not sure if I have that spelled correctly. I had been passing lots of blood rectally as if I had a faucet turned on. Praise God I didn’t have to have a blood transfusion! But all the same the surgery lasted over 5 hours. It was only supposed to last 30 minutes. It was really super bad. So, once again, I am glad to be alive and am continuing to heal.

So many more things have happened since I came home. Many of which were NOT good for me. The day I came home I had a major meltdown. I am so GLAD the kids didn’t send me BACK to the hospital for mental reasons! They were the CAUSE of it all! More about that the next time. To be honest, I am still trying to heal from that incident. Worst thing to ever have happen to me since cancer and having that surgery. Oh! I forgot to tell ya’ll that I actually wanted to and honestly thought I was going to die about three days after surgery. Never had pain that intense in that manner except one other time in my life. I honestly would NOT wish it on any of my enemies! (Childbirth was NOTHING compared to this pain…).

Slowly climbing back up the (W)hole…rabbit or otherwise.

Oh! While in rehab I watched their GINORMOUS pet rabbits!!! These things were nearly twice the size of my dog!!!

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Just call me “Alice”…..I’m in here somewhere!

Until next time I pray peace and an abundance of blessings on ya’ll!

~ Bonnie

 

 

 

 

 

Reflections on My Life

He knows my name

Good Sabbath to one and all!

A wonderful Pastoral friend whom I’ve known since childhood inspired me yesterday. He spoke of how he is touched by this song and his inability to finish the song because of his own emotion with the lyrics. A lady in his congregation asked him to sing anyway. Today may be the day.

Here is the video mix. Only shy over 3 minutes long. I lived to tell you. Somebody else did not.

Please watch with an open heart.

Blessings,

Bonnie